“Oh my goodness, congratulations!”

“That’s so great! How exciting!”

“I’m so happy for you, may all your dreams come true!”

“How wonderful, what an adventure you’re about to go on!”

“You’re glowing! Pregnancy suits you!”

Just a few of the responses you might get when you share your pregnancy news, and that’s from those who have, as well as those who have not, had babies themselves… (they really should know better!)

I have a number of friends who have said to me ‘I wish someone had TOLD me what it would REALLY be like!’ I’m not kidding. I felt the same (and still do to some degree!) Of course it’s exciting news, and of course we want to be supportive and encouraging and excited for our friends! But support can also look like preparing them for what they can expect! (If, of course, they’re open to it.)

Unless you’re one of the minority of women who have fairly breezy pregnancies, pregnancy is brutal. There are so many symptoms and not everyone gets all of them, so of course this is not a list of what-you-should-expect. Apart from anything else, my only qualification is 2 pregnancies of my own.

Growing your very own little human in your body, costs. The cost is different for everyone, but a cost there is. For me, nausea, back and hip pains, constant discomfort, exhaustion, insomnia, kicking the inside of my ribs, going to the toilet every 30 seconds (not quite, but you get it) and pretty horrific labours…

Was it worth it? Yes. Twice.

Other friends of mine have experienced gestational diabetes, daily vomiting, nausea, exhaustion, restless legs, hair loss, swollen feet and ankles, mood swings, the need to nap every few hours, the need to pee every hour, scares when baby seems to not be moving, scans when things don’t look right… and so on.

Was it worth it? Not at the time. But YES.

The first 6 weeks, brutal. Baby does lots of sleeping, sure, but also lots of crying, feeding, nappies, sleepless nights, Health Visitor appointments, weigh-ins, assessments, and every little thing that happens is new and sometimes really scary.

Will it be worth it? Yes.

The first 6 months, a different kind of brutal. Maybe starting to find a rhythm, a routine, to find your way, and perhaps some little smiles for the people they know and love – and those are priceless! But the crying, the feeding and the nappies, the poo-splosions, the sick, the LAUNDRY. And then you start to consider weaning and how you’re going to even begin! Milk and solids, how much, how often, what style, what if they gag? What if they don’t eat? Is it enough? Is it too much? Oh and don’t forget baby-proofing your house before they start getting into everything!

Getting to that 1 year milestone, such an achievement! Meal times may be pretty established now, hopefully nights are getting smoother, perhaps some crawling or walking or bum shuffling to enjoy! Oh but look at that, a meltdown or two over nothing… what was that about? Oh and some hitting or screaming or biting when they’re frustrated or upset… that’s fun…! Let’s do some research and find out how best to handle that… thank you Google, I now have 15 opinions and they’re all different. Excellent.

Is it worth it? Yes.

The 18 months marker was a turning point for me with both of my children. They started to be able to communicate a little more effectively, so their frustration at not being able to tell me what they wanted to tell me started to subside. Hearing them start using little sentences, saying my name with affection and confidence, toddling about and making us laugh. A really special phase. But also not without its challenges. As they explore decision-making and choices and independence, they start to push boundaries and test limits, and that is ongoing! Hooray!

And, to add to the messiness, remember this – when my girl turned 18 months, my boy was only a month old, so those different phases were happening simultaneously! The 17 month age gap, which gives you that dreaded “two under two” situation, is relentless. They each have genuine needs that require all of you all of the time. Now that both my kids are over two it’s beginning to feel manageable, different, sometimes even fun!

It is only my opinion, but it is an honest opinion, pregnancy and the first two years of their little lives, is hard hard hard work. BUT IT IS WORTH IT. They, are worth it.