I get so excited about things that I think my kids will love! Christmas, their birthdays, day trips, treats… When I think about those things, and how much fun they will be for my kiddies, my heart gets all full and jubbly! and then I go into mega planning mode so I don’t miss anything, and every little detail is considered. I’m a planner, and I love admin and structure… what could possibly go wrong?!

Toddlers!

Who knows the mind of a toddler? Why WOULDN’T you want a Christmas tree shaped pizza instead of a full on Turkey dinner that I just know will end up on the floor?! Oh I’m sorry that your Frozen themed present didn’t include Kristoff and Sven… *rolls eyes* 😀

On Toby’s 1st birthday he had a smash-cake; he always loved making a mess with his food, and I love to take a fun picture of my kids, so thought it was a perfect idea! He wasn’t interested. He touched the top of the icing, looked at his little sticky palm, and sat there confused, bless him.

On Livi’s 2nd birthday, she got a 2 day long fever. Little get togethers cancelled all over the place. Devastated.

On her 3rd birthday she had a vomiting bug and her big party at the park with her nursery friends had to be cancelled. Devastated again, and with a tonne of party food too!

How do we deal with the disappointment of plans with little ones that don’t turn out how you imagine?

Perhaps it’s worth acknowledging that little ones simply cannot process that level of expectation, excitement, and such dramatic adjustments to their usual routine. Of course as parents we want these events to be perfect for them, but while your littles are little, there will always be a curve ball or ten.

Just yesterday I took my two to Costa for a post nursery treat. We’ve never done that before but they knew it was coming and were very excited about it. Sadly, that particular day, Toby had a late nap at nursery and was woken up before he was ready… and it all went downhill from there! We went to Costa, all fine, managing his fragile emotional state quite well… he selected his snack, and we sat down. So far so good (ish). I made the unforgivable mistake of trying to help him with his snack by snapping off a bit of the chocolate from the top, to make it easier for him. Oh my gosh you’d have thought I’d try to break his fingers the way he screamed at me! “NO SNAP TOBY’S SNACK!!!” THEN he dropped his cuddly dog on the floor and his screams escalated and I’m sure the entire room thought I was attacking him!

This was not the plan for our Costa treat trip! He did settle once I, by chance, figured out he actually wanted a bit of Livi’s heart biscuit, and we calmed down from there. But PHEW that was rough for a few minutes there!

I guess it’s all about expectations. And it’s quite a hard lesson to learn for someone like me! But I’m getting there. I’m learning to remember that sometimes my plans to do something nice for them, might not actually be that nice for them! Remembering to consider where they’re at is important. Knowing that kids can get sick easily, knowing that their moods can fluctuate massively if they’re tired, hungry, overstimulated, under stimulated and so on.

Not that you base every decision on if they’re moody or not, but keeping in mind how they are doing is not only a kindness to them, but may also help with managing your own expectations on how something may go! And every experience is a lesson – I will NEVER snap Toby’s snacks again!

Little ones are just that, little. For a long time a lot of things they experience they will be experiencing for the first time. They’ll have no frame of reference, no previous history to look to, no idea what’s expected of them, and if we truly want it to be pleasant, taking the expectation for perfection down a notch or two will probably do the whole thing a massive favour! There. That’s me told. 😀