Posted on March 7, 2025 in Uncategorized

The days are long, but the years are short… cherish every moment

The days are long but the years are short.

This is so true! Already I’m planning for Livi’s 4th birthday, and she was only born 15 minutes ago. My tiny wee girl who had me up 10 times a night, every night, for almost 2 years straight and I thought I’d never sleep again, is heading to school in September… how is that even possible?!

I was chatting with a colleague recently, a dad who has older boys, and he was waxing lyrical about how quickly it all goes by. He stopped working for a number of years in order to raise his lads, and he took on other people’s kids too, as a childminder. Telling me stories about rushing here there any everywhere to get the shopping in and get them from nursery and do all the things a parent has to do in the 24 hours a day we are given. And yet now, with his lads in their twenties, how quickly that time went by.

I was grateful for the reminder. The days can feel sooooo long that you’re praying for bedtime to come, but at the same time, Liv’s going to school in September, and I know that once we enter that stage of life, it’s just going to fly by. School days, extra curricular activities, play dates, going to friends’ for dinner… whilst the challenges of parenting remain, I have a feeling I’m going to be desperate for the passing of time to slow down.

Friends who have little girls who are 8 now, sending me photos with captions about how big they are and how they wish they’d stop growing.

I’ve experienced many things in life, I’ve had many opportunities before settling down into marriage and babies, but nothing compares to the fragility and joy of how I have felt as a parent. I’ve seen the worst and the best of myself. I’ve had that desperate “stop the world I want to get off!” feeling, and that deep knowing that I would die for my kids if it came to it. Most days I collapse into bed absolutely wrecked, and so thankful the day is done, but then scroll through photos of my babies whilst missing them when they’re asleep.

I don’t think there’s anything that can compare to it. The highs and lows of this extraordinary rollercoaster called parenting. And I guess depending on your own upbringing, expectations, experiences, filters, culture, and so on, each of us will judge ourselves differently, and have different values for what ‘successful’ parenting looks like. And when I miss the mark that I have subconsciously set myself, that’s when I become my most fragile – because I care more deeply about loving my children well than about anything else, and my apparent failures in that area can knock me for six.

BUT! Simply knowing that that is the case, tells me I’m not doing too badly, because my kids are kind, affectionate, brave, clever, creative, silly, cheeky, hilariously funny at times, and they care about other people. They can be proper little monkeys of course, but that’s the universal right of kids, isn’t it!

It’s emotionally draining, and in the early years at least, it’s physically draining too, but oh my goodness, it is SO worth it. I’m reminding myself to not wish the time away, even though it can be difficult, but to savour every precious moment of them needing and wanting me, because I know it’s not going to last forever.

Posted on February 14, 2025February 7, 2025 in Uncategorized

The fullest of hearts

Most of my posts so far have been to help other parents know they are not alone in the struggles that comes with parenting. So by nature they may have appeared a bit negative! Battles and exhaustion and isolation and frustration and sometimes even rage! And all those things are true, and are a part of our daily lives as parents!

But at the same time my heart is so full. I need my kids to go to nursery, but I miss them when they’re there. They frustrate the living daylights out of me every single bedtime as they make putting PJs on and cleaning their teeth take FOREVER, but when they’re asleep I watch them on the monitor or scroll through photos of them.

I love my two little people with every fibre of my being. There is no way to articulate what they mean to me, what I would do for them, and what I will willingly give to see them grow healthily and happily, to the best of my ability.

I’m also a very blessed woman, who has a husband who is a present, engaged, affectionate (but not a pushover) dad, and who is kind and loving towards me. I wouldn’t want a different man to be my husband, nor to be the father of my children. I know that he’s one in a million.

And when there are those hard moments through our days, when the tantrums strike or the sleep deprivation sucks the life out of me, if I turn my attention to the fact that my heart is still full, even if it’s weary, I remind myself that I can do this. These people are my purpose in life, they are my vision, my mission, my reason.

Whatever your journey, your family structure, your context, you can do it. You will find a way though, and I pray you have a full heart too.

Posted on February 12, 2025February 12, 2025 in Uncategorized

When the fun stuff doesn’t go to plan…

I get so excited about things that I think my kids will love! Christmas, their birthdays, day trips, treats… When I think about those things, and how much fun they will be for my kiddies, my heart gets all full and jubbly! and then I go into mega planning mode so I don’t miss anything, and every little detail is considered. I’m a planner, and I love admin and structure… what could possibly go wrong?!

Toddlers!

Who knows the mind of a toddler? Why WOULDN’T you want a Christmas tree shaped pizza instead of a full on Turkey dinner that I just know will end up on the floor?! Oh I’m sorry that your Frozen themed present didn’t include Kristoff and Sven… *rolls eyes* 😀

On Toby’s 1st birthday he had a smash-cake; he always loved making a mess with his food, and I love to take a fun picture of my kids, so thought it was a perfect idea! He wasn’t interested. He touched the top of the icing, looked at his little sticky palm, and sat there confused, bless him.

On Livi’s 2nd birthday, she got a 2 day long fever. Little get togethers cancelled all over the place. Devastated.

On her 3rd birthday she had a vomiting bug and her big party at the park with her nursery friends had to be cancelled. Devastated again, and with a tonne of party food too!

How do we deal with the disappointment of plans with little ones that don’t turn out how you imagine?

Perhaps it’s worth acknowledging that little ones simply cannot process that level of expectation, excitement, and such dramatic adjustments to their usual routine. Of course as parents we want these events to be perfect for them, but while your littles are little, there will always be a curve ball or ten.

Just yesterday I took my two to Costa for a post nursery treat. We’ve never done that before but they knew it was coming and were very excited about it. Sadly, that particular day, Toby had a late nap at nursery and was woken up before he was ready… and it all went downhill from there! We went to Costa, all fine, managing his fragile emotional state quite well… he selected his snack, and we sat down. So far so good (ish). I made the unforgivable mistake of trying to help him with his snack by snapping off a bit of the chocolate from the top, to make it easier for him. Oh my gosh you’d have thought I’d try to break his fingers the way he screamed at me! “NO SNAP TOBY’S SNACK!!!” THEN he dropped his cuddly dog on the floor and his screams escalated and I’m sure the entire room thought I was attacking him!

This was not the plan for our Costa treat trip! He did settle once I, by chance, figured out he actually wanted a bit of Livi’s heart biscuit, and we calmed down from there. But PHEW that was rough for a few minutes there!

I guess it’s all about expectations. And it’s quite a hard lesson to learn for someone like me! But I’m getting there. I’m learning to remember that sometimes my plans to do something nice for them, might not actually be that nice for them! Remembering to consider where they’re at is important. Knowing that kids can get sick easily, knowing that their moods can fluctuate massively if they’re tired, hungry, overstimulated, under stimulated and so on.

Not that you base every decision on if they’re moody or not, but keeping in mind how they are doing is not only a kindness to them, but may also help with managing your own expectations on how something may go! And every experience is a lesson – I will NEVER snap Toby’s snacks again!

Little ones are just that, little. For a long time a lot of things they experience they will be experiencing for the first time. They’ll have no frame of reference, no previous history to look to, no idea what’s expected of them, and if we truly want it to be pleasant, taking the expectation for perfection down a notch or two will probably do the whole thing a massive favour! There. That’s me told. 😀

Posted on February 9, 2025February 7, 2025 in parenting, Uncategorized

The changing nature of parent-friendships in a post pandemic world

It never even occurred to me that our circle of friends would be so impacted by having children, but I guess it didn’t help that we had kids immediately in the aftermath of the National Lockdown and Covid-19 pandemic and relationships were already changing. Wasn’t THAT a blast!

Working out how to adjust relationships to ‘online only’ for those couple of years was something else, with some real successes, and some sad losses, but it did open a door to having at least some kind of communication with loved ones we couldn’t see in the flesh. It became so normal at the time, it continues to be an option for people who can’t see people face to face, for whatever reason. Being a parent to very dependant little ones is one of those reasons. Being a parent to older kids with a packed activities calendar is another!

It is funny how when you have children your old circle of single / child-free friends seems to fade away, and you find yourself connecting (if you’re lucky) with other people who have children, and that’s great because they get it! They understand the manic nature of life – being late for things, turning up with sick / beans / playdough / chocolate prints on your clothes, having to cancel last minute because someone got poorly (nursery germs, man!) But at the same time it also sucks because between your busy life, and their busy life, when do you actually ever get to have a face to face conversation?!

Perhaps that’s another reason I’m doing this; blogging. I get to have a bit of a conversation (one sided though it is!) with people who I hope are like-minded, in as much as you’re going through or have been through, this similar life adjustment!

Going from a peer-saturated lifestyle with no restrictions, to a young family lifestyle following a global pandemic is a heck of a culture shock, and it can take some serious getting used to. And it seems to me that there’s now a loneliness pandemic. The never ending social media presence where there’s a shallower level of ‘connection’, a bombardment of news, information, advertising and social expectation (not to mention the bullying, hate, lack of accountability and so on), plus the incessant need to display ones life with all the filters that make us and our lives look flawless… it’s just not helpful to us normal people living normal lives. We all want to be seen, known and loved for who we really are, not the shiny online version we feel under pressure to be. Even (especially!) exhausted mamas.

With that potential for loneliness already very real, the changing of friendships that come with becoming parents in a post-pandemic online world can be another massive contributor to feeling alone, unknown, unfulfilled, and isolated. This isn’t just true for mums, but for dads too.

I know for me, when I do get to have real connection time with a friend, it does me the world of good. It’s rare. Finding a time that works for everyone is tough, and requires serious intention and planning! But it’s so worth the effort. Whether it’s in person (which I love) or on a video call, or by sending texts, it’s so vital for us as parents (it’s also true for everyone who isn’t a parent too!) to have people we can be real with. That’s what friendship means to me now.

We all need to be seen, known and loved.

If anyone out there is an exhausted parent who wants to reach out for connection, feel free to get in touch! I’ll gladly chat with anyone who wants to vent, connect, reach for some validation or understanding. Online friendships can be really helpful when in person ones seem just out of reach.

Posted on February 7, 2025February 5, 2025 in Uncategorized

Two under two

Sometimes I miss my little boy, even when he’s in the room. He’s so chill, and usually pretty content to potter on. A firstborn girl and a second born boy seems to create a well known dynamic, where she, for want of a better expression, rules the roost and he just learns to go with that flow.

Being able to express her needs and wants far more articulately than he, and also having had a large portion of life where her needs were the only ones I needed to meet, makes it hard for her to understand that he has mummy-needs too.

Another difference between them is that her sleep routine requires me to lie with her until she falls asleep, but he is quite happy to get into his bed and drift off himself. Dad stays with him in the room until he’s fallen asleep, but he’d be ok if he didn’t.

The first 17 months of Liv’s life were so precious, as it was one on one all the time. And when I found out I was pregnant when she was 8 months old, I knew we were on limited time for that level of attention. I did my best to make the most of that time, through the sleepless nights, the physical discomfort, and the development of wailing meltdowns! It was a very very special and unique time for us.

That new born phase with Toby went as new born phases do… they demand a lot of your attention while they are so fragile and rely on you for everything. About 6 months in my experience. And Liv coped with that time really really well. She got sad sometimes, when I had to feed Toby and couldn’t do water play with her, of course, but she did pretty well and always loved him.

But once he was a bit older they started to compete and battle over me. I’ve learned that when there’s an escalation like that I just sit on the floor, legs astride, and invite them onto one leg each, and have them cuddle in and calm down. “Two legs, two babies”, I say to them. “There’s always room for you both.” (I’m not sure how parents with more than two children do it!)

I wish I could also have had 18 months one on one with my boy. The things I learned about Livi when she was little, the times we contact napped and I could just watch her sleep, and listen to her little gurgles and tiny sounds. The investment in her weaning process, the dancing to Hey Bear dancing fruits on YouTube and her giggling her head off as we pranced around the lounge. I didn’t get any of that with Toby because every time I tried, Liv wanted in on it. He didn’t miss out on the fun, but more often than not it was Daddy who did it with him, because Liv would melt down if I didn’t do it with her.

I know what you’re thinking, I should have stuck to my guns and held that boundary, but in the moment it’s not that easy. Toby was so little he didn’t mind who flew him around like a rocket, he was just happy to play, and I didn’t want to turn a happy play time into another toddler tantrum. It’s not an easy balance! I remember very little about Toby’s first year because it was such a whirlwind of survival.

For anyone who has two under two, it does get better! I feel like we have exited survival mode and are moving into a more sustainable, happy, not-just-longing-for-bedtime stage! I’ve even found time to cook actual meals recently, and of course, have the headspace to actually form written sentences for this blog! I couldn’t have even imagined doing this, 6 months ago.

The love you have for your kids is unrivalled and unparalleled, and you find a way of meeting their needs. There is no perfect parent, and we’re all just doing the best we can! I look at my boy sometimes and the smile he gives me assures me that he knows he is so loved. It also assures me that I am loved by him, too. Will I get everything right? Absolutely not. Am I trying my hardest to make good choices for them? 100%.

Two kids who aren’t quite the same age, but live through overlapping phases is a lot. But I am so glad we did it this way. Yes, it was deliberate, yes, it was a choice. Having 4 years of broken sleep seemed like a better choice than getting back to a good rhythm and then starting all over again a couple of years later! And, as much as they get in each other’s space and get frustrated with each other, they are absolutely each other’s best friend. I hope no one ever bullies Toby because Liv would eat them alive!

This life Jon and I have chosen, I love it. I love my husband even though we still barely have uninterrupted conversations, I love our two little creations, and I love our family. Is it very hard? Yes. Do I cry sometimes feeling utterly overwhelmed? Yes. Would I do it all over again if I knew then what I know now? Yes.

Have kids, they said… it’ll be fun, they said!

Posted on February 4, 2025 in Uncategorized

Threenagers…

I was, and am, determined not to allow cultural expectations to dictate how my children live and progress through their early years. All these labels that people put on particular age brackets can make you expect certain behaviours, and I don’t think it’s a given that all two year olds have “terrible twos”, etc.

That said, “Threenager” is a pretty accurate label for my strong-willed, independent, rule-questioning, intelligent, articulate 3 and a half year old!

And I want to talk about it, because it can be a struggle.

It goes without saying that I love my big girl with literally my whole life, and she really is my dream come true. That was true the day we found out we were pregnant, true when I gave birth to her, and true throughout every moment of every day since.

I have encountered many other parents with children the same age as mine, and I hear the same things over and over again. Almost every 3 year old is challenging! I remind myself often that it is not her personality that challenges me, it her developmental stage (I hope). Now, I know that’s not an overarching excuse for unacceptable behaviour, like hitting, biting, shouting at me, throwing things (at me, or otherwise!) or pure unadulterated defiance, but knowing that just about every 3 year old’s parents are facing the same or very similar challenges helps me remember that they are learning, pushing boundaries and experiencing so many things for the first time. With guidance, patience and consistent boundaries (which is so much harder to do than to say!) they will emerge on the other side as much nicer little people… or so I have been told…!

Even today a friend of mine was describing her weekend with her almost 4 year old little boy. The battle of wills over almost every normal day-to-day thing like getting shoes on to go out… or the rolling of the eyes when asked to do something, or when they tell you to do something the way you sometimes tell them to do something but it sounds so awful when it comes out of their little mouths! “Mummy, sit down now!” “Not yet, I’m busy at the moment” “Shush, you’re not listening to me”. How do you respond to that, knowing they’ve heard it from you?!

Three is as hard as it is wonderful, and as wonderful as it is hard. I adore listening to her sing songs in the car, and get all the words right for the first time. She will, out of nowhere, tell me she loves me so so so so so so so so so much. She’ll tell me I’m her best friend. She’s becoming so creative, and so generous, and so kind. She’s incredibly sociable, loves people, and has the strength and determination to make a difference in the world. And I love her so stinking much!! But MAN when she’s defiant I don’t know what to do with myself! I dislike the behaviour, and quite often, I am very disappointed with my own response to that behaviour.

And again, as I’ve mentioned multiple times before, there is so much out there about how to navigate this, and how to understand what it is they are dealing with and experiencing. But in the every day moments when you’re almost late for work, or you’ve given them enough of a heads-up that the activity is about to change, or you’ve asked 15 times with ever increasing urgency… in those moments when you’re so tired and so fed up of being ignored, those strategies go right out of the window.

I’m not actually complaining, for the record! I just know that this stuff doesn’t really get said publicly very often, and I want to be a bit of a voice for those who can relate to how this feels, and what it’s like day in day out, and again say ‘you’re not alone’.

Whatever age your kids are, parenting is glorious and parenting is tough.

And in my opinion. if you’re trying your best to do what’s best for them, you’re winning.

Sometimes, I don’t feel like I’m winning. But I’m choosing to believe that I am, and I will tell myself again, ‘I am a good mum’.

You, are a good mum. ❤

Posted on January 28, 2025January 22, 2025 in Uncategorized

Am I ‘doing it’ right?

Can we talk about the pressure on parents today to do it ‘right’?

My mum and I have had lots of conversations around the culture of parenting when they were raising me (the 1980’s) and the very different culture(s) of parenting today. She has explained that in those days, before the internet, before blogs, before parenting “methods”, before any kind of wider social interaction outside of one’s own family or circle of local friends, you pretty much raised your kids the way you were raised. You didn’t really know there might be other ways to do it.

There were no studies into children’s development, or understanding of sleep regressions, or an awareness of neurodiversity, or research into the everything we can now look into today; my parents’ generation did the best they could with what they had. And my parents, at least, did a bloody good job! (Thanks mum and dad, I feel your pain now!)

As the following generations have grown, and advancements have been made in various fields, we’re now a quarter of the way through the 21st Century and the world is a very different place.

Now, I am a person who wants to get it right. Everything. I don’t need to BE right, I just need to know that things I do in life, I’m doing them right. I really dislike the idea of upsetting anyone, or displeasing people. It’s just my nature.

So when it comes to raising my little ones in a world saturated with differing and sometimes opposing advice on pretty much every aspect of parenting; sleep schedules, cry-it-out, contact napping, feeding schedules, wake windows, breast vs bottle, co-sleeping / not co-sleeping, gentle parenting, authoritarian parenting, permissive parenting, screen time, nutrition, exercise, body image, post-natal depression, career / stay at home mum, school / home school, political correctness, and the ever changing terrifying world of social media’s impact on children, the pressure is on! And the fear of damaging your children by the choices you make as a parent can be a really heavy weight to carry.

I guess I have mixed feelings about the accessibility of all this information today. Sure it’s helpful to see what works for others, or what science has discovered about babies brains and so on. But, it can also make you feel inept and incapable when you are bombarded by all the millions of things you could and apparently should be doing. I’ve found that if I let it, (and I have let it on many occasions) it overshadows all the things you are actually doing really really well! And let’s be honest, we’re all much better at knocking ourselves than celebrating ourselves aren’t we!

I’m going to practice right now. I am a good mum. Go on, you try it!

Yea, that felt weird. A bit awkward leaving that sitting there, but I will!

Jon and I have learned that for a lot of the practical stuff, (the sleep, the feeding, the routines, the personal choices made for the family) after MUCH googling, it’s actually a simple case of trial and error. We’ve learned what works for us, and what doesn’t, but that cacophony of this is the best way can be deafening and overwhelming.

Everyone is different. You are different to me. Your kids are different to mine. Your husband / wife / partner or single-parenting experience (I salute you!) is different to mine. That’s why this blog is not parenting advice, it’s simply an expression of my own experiences. joys, and struggles, to help other parents know they’re not the only ones feeling it!

You’ll read so many things about how you should be parenting, but you know you, you know your situation, and you know your little one(s). Trust yourself.

I would just say this: You are a warrior, you are strong enough, you are not alone.

Posted on January 26, 2025January 22, 2025 in Uncategorized

A Dad’s perspective

There is so much help and advice out there for mums, but not a huge amount specific to dads. Men can feel just as isolated, apprehensive, uncertain and out of their depth as dads as we can often feel as mums! We spend 9 months carrying, experiencing, feeling, bonding with that little baby before it makes an appearance, dads don’t have that privilege and their experience of becoming a father is an entirely different journey. I sent my beloved husband a little list of questions, discussion points perhaps, to bring a dad’s perspective.

1. Did you want to be a dad, and how did it feel when you became one?

Yes, but I think it was always a future feeling. Not immediately, not now, not even when the birth happened. And then all at once… I think the enormity of fatherhood dawned on me over time. It’s a growing up experience and a progressive letting go and reassessing what’s important and what’s not.

2. What has been the most significant challenge for you in parenting?

Taking on a 24/7 job where there’s little people needs that need accounting for all the time. Yes, it’s “shift” work to a degree, but you’re always aware that when you have ‘time off’ to do something, someone else is picking up the work.

3. What has surprised you in a positive way, the most?

That there were new and unexpected ways that I’d grow in – ways I didn’t think I would or could. Finding that the kids push buttons empowers me to practice the balance between patience, discipline and letting them be kids.

4. How much would you say becoming a dad has affected you as a person, in terms of capacity for other things in life, such as social, work, and mental wellbeing?

Capacity thoughts change in a whole different way. It’s not about do I have time to do the stuff I used to do anymore – it’s more a case of stretching things out. You’re forced to think in months for your availability and booking things in. Spontaneity is rare.

Personally speaking, mental health improved for me when I stopped fighting what I needed to let go of and what I thought was important to for me to do and to have regularly. You need to have the power to set boundaries or you’ll tire out. And a tired dad is a grumpy dad.

I’m self-employed so I have the benefit of being able to help out with and spend time with the kids when work is in a lull state.

5. What are the top 3 things you wish you had known before bringing a baby home?

1. Really thinking about how much of my life would be required (pro tip: all of it).

2. That I’d become a foundation stone for another person to grow from. I set the floor in terms of expectations and they will look to me for how to act and shape the beginning of their principles and character.

3. That no. 2 won’t fully happen until they’re at least 3 years old and I’d be ignored almost entirely until then…!

Bonus no. 4. That sleep would become scarce and difficult to get/fit in… For a while!

6. What would you say to anyone about to become a new father?

It’s a marathon, not a race. Keep hold of who you are but be ready to have some things float away. You’ll need to be ready to ‘evolve’ into your fatherhood. It’s hard and you won’t always get it right – sometimes it’ll make you unreasonably cross. Just like you’ll need the kids to do, clean up your mess, forgive yourself and say sorry when you have to.

Posted on January 21, 2025January 20, 2025 in Uncategorized

Precious and Tricky

I don’t know what it will be like when they’re older, but these early years hit all the extremes. Usually on a daily basis. ‘It goes so fast!’ parents of grown up children will tell you, ‘make the most of it while they’re little!’ and you know it’s true, and you know you want to take in every precious moment, but you also know you want this current rotten phase to be over with as soon as possible! Sleep regressions in particular are killer in the first couple of years, and yet so many wonderful ‘firsts’ also happen in this period of time! Precious, but tricky.

The state of my house was an issue that got me feeling very low. I became very proud of my home when I was able to buy my own for the first time, and I liked things to be in their right place. Getting married gave me a certain amount of practice in dealing with things not being quite in my right place(!) but that was NOTHING compared to when the house was saturated with baby things and all that comes with bringing a baby into your home. And having no time or energy to do the dishes, clean the kitchen or the bathroom, hoover all the floors, or put the dry laundry away… it started to get on top of me practically and emotionally. (For the record, my husband is a wonderful support and an equal partner in all these things, but he too was exhausted and learning to be a dad.)

And those feelings made me feel guilty (again! Gotta love the old mum-guilt). I felt guilty that I’d rather be cleaning my house than having to contact nap my baby girl who for a long time would only go to sleep when being held. Was that resentment I detected in my heart, while I was sat down on the sofa wishing I could lay her down and just do some jobs? And yet, at the same time, as I listened to her breathe deeply and watched her sleep soundly, I knew she felt safe, because of me. Precious and tricky.

All those ‘firsts’ we long for and look forward to experiencing… just watching and waiting for that first smile, first word, first step, first mouthful of solid food, first real cuddle, and that all-glorious moment they say “mama” for the first time! My Liv, she said “mam-mia” and we have it on video and my husband and I watch it back quite often! Every one of those moments is so incredibly special. Now, if I hear “MUMMY” or “MUM” less than 100 times a day, it must be because they’re in nursery. Those first words quickly include the word “NO” and those first steps soon need to be guarded with stairgates, corner protectors, cupboard locks and rearranging living areas! Those first mouthfuls of food often become spat out on the tray, or thrown on the floor, and those first cuddles quickly become whiny demands to be carried when you already have your hands full of their stuff and a bad back from all that twisty car seat loading and awkward positions! Precious, but tricky.

That first smile though, that never changes. Those smiles, are like gold dust sprinkled all over my heart.

I take many many photos of my kids. I do understand the approach that says if you take too many photos you’ll miss the actual moments and won’t be present for them, but for me, they are memories. Baby brain has been a real thing for me, and my memory has been affected by it. I take photos so I can look back and remember all the extraordinarily happy times we have together. The challenges will change as my children grow, and the memory of the earlier challenges will fade away, but the precious memories of when they have been little, and learning, and needing me, and wanting me, and us doing so many new things together, they will never fade away. Precious, tricky, and normal. x

Posted on January 20, 2025January 16, 2025 in Uncategorized

There are no ‘bad days’

Throughout my first pregnancy, and the first 2 years or so of my little girl’s life, I had the never waning support of a good friend who had been through it all herself. Her name is Jo. She would text me most mornings and simply say “how was the night?” and it gave me a place to express exactly how it was. Whether it was a good one – I was only up a few times – or a rough one – I was up every half an hour to feed her – I had a safe place to say it out loud (well, written, but you get it).

Jo is a very happy, positive, glass half full… no wait… she’s a glass overflowing kinda girl, and her approach to life and parenting has challenged and supported me in ways I don’t think she’ll ever know.

One of the things she would say to me is “There are no bad days, only hard moments”. This was to say, don’t write off a whole day because you had a solid half hour of inconsolable crying, or your little one threw the bowl of food you made for him all over the floor, or the 476 times you heard the word “MUMMY” in a day drove you insane! Remember that every single day is filled with 1440 minutes. There are 24 hours. It’s very unlikely that every one of those hours or minutes will be hard.

It meant that as I dealt with each day, I could believe that there would be happy, good moments to look out for. I could view every difficult thing as simply a part of the day, and not to just sink into a pit expecting the rest of the day to be difficult. Parenting really is a rollercoaster of emotions and wildly differing experiences throughout each and every day, but many of those will be positive, happy, wonderful moments to enjoy. x

have kids they said…

Tag: children