Mama, please just be yourself. Be your best self, for your little ones, but be yourself. And actually, you amazing dads who just want to do your very best for your kids, same goes for you!

It’s just starting to dawn on me that the best way I can be consistent in my parenting, is to actually be me. No parent is perfect, no method is fool proof, no technique is guaranteed, and no particular style has the same effect on every child. So rather than add to the confusion by trying to imitate someone else, or tie yourself in knots trying to stick to a certain way of doing things that isn’t natural to you, why not just parent from the inside out.

You know you, and you know your child(ren) better than any internet parenting guru. Of course there are some helpful ideas and studies available, but they cannot replace your experience, your intuition, and your knowledge of your tiny human.

I have a number of friends who have different ages of kids, and I admire the parenting skills of many of them. I find myself trying to channel my inner *enter name here* and parent my kids like they parent theirs. But I can’t do it consistently, so I feel like I’m confusing my kids more by demonstrating different behaviours myself.

So I’m coming to the conclusion that I shall simply be me. On good days and hard days, on days where I’m oozing affection and days where I feel like I’m losing my mind, I’m going to let my kids see me.

Children become what they see, not what they are told to be. So if I’m trying to be like someone else, who are they imitating? Or worse, will they learn that there’s no value to who they are, and that they too should try to be like some else? If they see me happy, and sad, and tired, and excited etc, so basically just being real, perhaps they will learn that their own feelings are also valid and nothing to be ashamed of. I don’t know, that’s just a thought.

My heart is with a few of my friends who have very little ones and are struggling through various issues. I wish I had formulas, answers, resolutions for their struggles but the honest truth is sometimes you just have to simply keep going… when you’re feeling entirely empty, like, actually completely empty… you just keep going. And you’ll make it through. You will. Those rough nights that feel like they’re going to finish you off… you’ll make it. All of those stages and phases that make you want to hide in a dark room… you’ll survive them. The love you have for your kids is enough. I know it doesn’t always feel like it, but it really is.

You are enough, just as you are. You are good enough. You are loved by your children – in fact, you are their whole world. Give them the best of yourself each day – which sometimes means you simply survive a day together; everyone ate, drank and has clean bums (you and them!!)

Learn from others, sure! But be yourself, and give yourself some grace.

x